You are not a voter. You are a consumer.

As any Monday morning would warrant, I spent the first half hour or so of yesterday’s workday de-cluttering my inbox, freeing it of Google Alerts, reminders to book my next gel manicure on Groupon, and links to 2014’s hottest BuzzFeed listicle courtesy of my mother. This morning, though, as Gmail appeared before my eyes for the first time in several days, I immediately noticed something was different.

All of the usual suspects were present and accounted for: Amazon, Starbucks, Seamless, SoulCycle. Their marketing emails were as flashy as ever, but all with a clear message: vote.

With Tuesday’s election already breaking records via early voting, and massive turnouts expected for day-of, brands are wasting no time cashing in on political participation as the latest consumable fad.

“If you can wait in line for our bowls, then you can wait in line for the polls,” read an email from $17 salad purveyor Sweetgreen. (The email’s subject line? “Make your voice heard.”)

Pre-election encouragement, courtesy of Sweetgreen.

While it’s particularly disturbing to have a Cobb Salad try and evoke my political self, what’s even more disturbing are the ways this crazed marketing rally is painfully…